so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
