i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
