So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
