we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
