do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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