Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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