READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
