The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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