I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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