READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
