You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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