ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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