I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Semen is not good for contacts.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
