I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
