yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
