Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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