FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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