You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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