puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
