This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
