i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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