Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
