Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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