her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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