Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
