C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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