Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
false alarm, still single
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
