I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
