I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
