I want to have your abortion
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
