Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
