no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
