sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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