I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
