she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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