this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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