And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
