I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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