I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
