my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
