ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
