Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
