After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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