So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize