Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
