have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
