Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
