No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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