Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize