we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
