there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i believe in u and ur pee
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
